Cereal Killer

The owners of a cocker spaniel have told how their beloved pet became addicted to licking poisonous toads for their mind-bending properties.

Laura Mirsch said her dog Lady returned to their new home from one binge at the local pond “disoriented and withdrawn, soporific and glassy-eyed”.

Mirsch recounts Lady’s nightmare plunge into toad dependence here at NPR, including a moving audio testimony.

She said: “We noticed Lady spending an awful lot of time down by the pond in our backyard. Late one night after I’d put the dogs out, Lady wouldn’t come in. She finally staggered over to me from the cattails. She looked up at me, leaned her head over and opened her mouth like she was going to throw up, and out plopped this disgusting toad.”

It quickly became clear that the incident was not a one-off party thing: this Lady had a problem.

Laura Mirsch said: “We couldn’t keep our dog’s addiction a secret any longer. The neighbours all knew that Lady was a drug addict, and soon the other dogs weren’t allowed to play with her.”

The toads put a brief stop to Lady’s psychedelic explorations of canine perception by hibernating for the winter, but come spring she had not fully wrested herself from the demon grip of toad licking.

Thankfully for those who love her, Lady has learned to keep her addiction under control: her drug abuse has become purely recreational. Her rehabilitation now confines toad licking to weekends.

A Dog’s Diary

8 am – Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 am – Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

Noon – Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

2 pm – Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

3 pm – Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

4 pm – Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

6 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!

7 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

8 pm – Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 pm – Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

11 pm – Oh boy! Sleeping in my people’s bed! My favourite!

A Cat’s Diary

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait.

It’s only a matter of time.

To manually delete a domain follow these steps. Everything needs to be done
as the root user.

Remove the hash (#) from in front of these lines if you are pasting them.

# umount /home/virtual/domain.com/usr/lib/perl5
(If you have mounted perl inside a site chroot)

Check which siteX the site corresponds to:
sitelookup -d domain.com

site_handle:
sitelookup -d site_handle

Which user (adminX) is responsible for it:
sitelookup -d domain.com wp_user

Then run:

# rm -rf /home/virtual/siteX
# rm -f /home/virtual/adminX
# rm -f /home/virtual/domain.com
# rm -f /etc/httpd/conf/virtual/siteX
# rm -rf /etc/httpd/conf/siteX.preview
# rm -f /etc/httpd/conf/virtual.preview/siteX
# rm -rf /etc/httpd/conf/siteX
# userdel adminX

Remember to remove any other customization you have added

Now you need to clear out entries of the PostGreSQL database – replace the “X” with the X from siteX, i.e. if you’re removing site25 you need to change “X’ to 25 below:

# psql appldb
Welcome to psql, the PostgreSQL interactive terminal.
Type: copyright for distribution terms h for help with SQL commands
? for help on internal slash commands g or terminate with semicolon
to execute query
q to quit
appldb=> delete from users where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from reseller where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from bandwidth_log where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from bandwidth_spans where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from bandwidth where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from ipinfo where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from siteinfo where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from diskquota where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from telnet where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from apache where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from ssh where site_id = X;
appldb=> delete from siteinfo where site_id = X;
appldb=> (type Ctrl-D to quit)

Code for that:
delete from users where site_id = X;
delete from reseller where site_id = X;
delete from bandwidth_log where site_id = X;
delete from bandwidth_spans where site_id = X;
delete from bandwidth where site_id = X;
delete from ipinfo where site_id = X;
delete from siteinfo where site_id = X;
delete from diskquota where site_id = X;
delete from telnet where site_id = X;
delete from apache where site_id = X;
delete from ssh where site_id = X;
delete from siteinfo where site_id = X;

Finally, you need to go through all the files in /etc/virtualhosting/mappings and check if any of them refer to the site you’re deleting. You can use grep to quickly see if/which files might refer to the site to be deleted:

cd /etc/virtualhosting/mappings
grep -l siteX *

For each file you get listed here you need to edit it and delete all lines referring to either siteX or domain.com as per the site you’re deleting.

Now all that’s left to do is clean up the mess; Restart Apache and Webppliance and you should be ok:

# service httpd restart
# service webppliance restart

YouTube finally made its owners some cash today when search behemoth Google coughed up $1.65bn for the video clip mix-tape site.

The deal, trailed all weekend, came within hours of both firms striking deals with what they’d probably describe internally as old media companies.

As Google put it in when announcing the buy, “The acquisition combines one of the largest and fastest growing online video entertainment communities with Google’s expertise in organizing information and creating new models for advertising on the Internet.”

YouTube will retain its “distinct brand identity” Google said, as well as its employees. Its backers will retain a shedload of Google shares, which no doubt will be converted into readies as soon as possible.

What does it mean for users? Apparently, “The combined companies will focus on providing a better, more comprehensive experience for users interested in uploading, watching and sharing videos, and will offer new opportunities for professional content owners to distribute their work to reach a vast new audience.”

We can only hope this means Google will provide a sensible way of searching and navigating clips, and will hold out the prospect of paying owners of copyrighted material that finds its way onto YouTube.

The deal came the same day that YouTube moved toward full legitimacy with a trio of deals with media giants. Presumably Google was waiting for the video clip site to head off any legal threats before signing on the dotted line.

Universal Music Group boss Doug Morriss had previously described YouTube as a “copyright infringer” which owed his firm tens of millions in royalties.

Now it seems he has acquiesced to the increasing distribution strength of YouTube, as have the big wigs over at Sony BMG.

The latter has properly gotten into bed with YouTube, with a carve-up of per-click advertising revenues on pages carrying its content. Universal has stopped shorter, inking a “strategic partnership” instead. YouTube will simply pay it for each music video or user-generated video that uses its music.

YouTube founder Chad Smith said: “As a new distribution channel for media companies, YouTube is committed to balancing the needs of the fan community with those of copyright holders.”

Warner Music embraced YouTube in September. Three of the big four record companies are now on board, with EMI the lone dissenter, though a deal is inevitable. Smaller record labels have been posting music videos to YouTube for months.

In the third of today’s announcements, CBS becomes the first of the American networks to get smart to YouTube. NBC struck a more limited deal in June. CBS CEO Leslie Moonves said: “We’re now able to offer select entertainment, news and sports programming to a new significant audience, get paid for it, and learn a few things along the way.”

As well as providing content, CBS will act as policeman for user-uploaded video. It’ll have sole discretion over whether video grabbed from its TV channels is allowed to stay on YouTube’s servers. CBS will get a cut of advertising on pages it leaves online.

The firm will be the first to trial this new system, which YouTube hopes will placate twitchy copyright holders.

Funnily enough, Google struck similar deals with Warner and Sony today. Fancy that.

Long-term Reg readers will recall the case of little Oscar Webster – the cyber-infant who swallowed the coded radio transponder of his mum’s Ford Focus, thereby immobilising the vehicle.

Dogs, too, have a taste for chips, the BBC reports. Juliette Piesley, 39, had “changed the battery in her electronic key fob but was then unable to start her car”.

AA patrolman Kevin Gorman duly attended the scene in Addlestone, Surrey, and noticed the “immobiliser chip” had gone awol. Piesley admitted her dog George had “eaten something”, and it didn’t take long for Gorman to put two and two together.

Accordingly, he dumped the miscreant canine in the car’s front seat and was able to start the car with the key. He said: “I was glad to get the car started for the member. They will now have to take George with them in the car until things take their natural course.”

Gorman admitted: “It is the first time that I have had to get a dog to help me to start a car.”

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/5408338.stm

HOW IT WORKS
A “black box” device is fitted to the car
It uses Global Positioning Satellite (GPS) technology to record the journeys of the car.
This information is then transmitted securely to Norwich Union via a mobile phone network

Scared yet?

A Kentucky ne’er-do-well who decided it was a very bright idea to video himself carrying out a burglary while dressed in only a thong, is safely behind bars after leaving vital evidence at the scene of the crime, Associated Press reports.

Rodney McMillen, 36, of Covington, broke into a woman’s flat in early hours of 20 September, “clad in only thong underwear and carrying a knife”, according to Fort Mitchell Police Chief Steve Hensley. The woman beat off the attacker, who quickly legged it “into a stand of trees near the apartment complex”.

Officers attending the scene found a video camera the master criminal had presumably dropped, which contained footage of “McMillen’s family on the end of the tape”. The police were able to identify some of the family members and pursued the miscreant to his mother’s house in Norwood, Ohio.

McMillen was charged over the weekend with first-degree burglary. He’s currently “lodged” at Cincinnati’s Hamilton County Justice Center in on $50,000 bond, awaiting extradition to Kentucky.

Chief Hensley admitted: “This is a very, very bizarre case, to say the least.”

A remark by chat show host Jonathan Ross that people on council estates should be banned from giving birth has attracted more than 60 complaints.

“Do you think we should put something in the water supply, stop some people having children in the future?” the presenter asked chef Jamie Oliver.

But the remark, on BBC One’s Friday Night With Jonathan Ross programme, was “not out of character”, the BBC said.

Ross was “well-known for his irreverent approach”, a spokesman added.

After the star made the comment, Oliver asked: “What, you mean like lead?”

A member of the audience then shouted “Oi!”, prompting Ross to point at the crowd.

“There’s one,” he said. “We could have stopped that happening. See what I’m saying?”

Oliver appeared on the show to talk about his mission to improve the meals served to children at schools around the UK.

The pair had been discussing a recent case in Rotherham, South Yorkshire, where parents passed fish and chips to their children through the school’s railings, as a protest against the introduction of healthier menus.